


If We Don't Leave This Town We Might Never Make It Out

by kVader



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Peter is 25 years old here, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), What happened after Peter came back?, What-If, but is still placed after the movie, so this is not movie Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:54:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26034502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kVader/pseuds/kVader
Summary: What happened after those 5 years in which half the population disappeared, including Peter
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 85





	If We Don't Leave This Town We Might Never Make It Out

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a roller coaster, I started writing it after I saw Avengers Endgame, my grandfather had died so I was a little depressed and the idea came to my head.
> 
> After a while I left it behind, then kept writing and stopped again, that's how it was during all these months until finally today I decided to finish it.
> 
> The idea of what could have happened to Wade and Peter as a couple and how they would handle the situation after those 5 years of disappearance always seemed interesting to me.
> 
> Oh and also, the story is inspired by this song [Sleep On The Floor - The Lumineers](https://youtu.be/v4pi1LxuDHc), you can listen to it while reading if you want.
> 
> Anyway, it's a very long story with many things happening along the way, I hope you like it :)

Car horns made a fuss in the streets, they were like roosters singing in the mornings out there in the rural - but in a very distorted way. People shouted or laughed, the music was sometimes loud, and sometimes low, the mornings were sunny or it rained to the point of flood, and the wind created sounds against the walls of the building that sometimes seemed as if it wanted to take everything in its path. Birds sang, or they simply didn't, and the sunlight always, always illuminated the room... 

Every morning was the same, Peter no longer remembered anything different and his mind seemed dull.

Again, the bed was empty beside him, and Peter was wearing his pajamas just like every night and morning. How long had it been since the last time they made love? God, even how long had it been since the last time they kissed, touched, or shared more than one word other than to give an instruction.

"Take out the trash."

"I'll make coffee."

"The shower is free."

"There's food in the fridge."

How long had it been since Peter _really_ felt alive?

Tony would have scolded him, he would have made fun of his boring life and demanded that he do _something, anything_. But Tony was gone, and Peter had to move on somehow, because he was an adult and the world never stops for depression or anxiety.

Many people told him it was better to close doors and open others, _leave the past behind_ , they would say. Others even advised him to remember the good times, to pull out the positive things and throw them into his sack, _learn from the good and make your future shine_.

But his future was not bright nor dark, it was just _gray_ , there was nothing terrible, but nothing amazing, interesting, happy... There was no life.

Peter sat on the bed, took a deep breath and let the air out in an exhausting sigh, staring at his hands on his lap for a moment to allow his brain to leave behind last night nightmares, before looking up to find an empty apartment. The coffee was already made, like every morning, and who at one time had been the light of his life was gone, lately he always was.

Wade hadn't died, he did not disappear even when half of the world had done it, including Peter. No, Wade stayed, and when Peter returned, when they saved the world and Tony died, Wade was not Wade. And Peter was no longer Peter.

And no one ever prepared him for that, because when Peter fell apart, Wade was his support and vice versa, but now none was anyone's support, and they were hardly anything, a couple of words in the morning and some others in the evenings, before going to sleep both in the same bed to not even turn around to face each other.

The brunet stood up and headed straight for the bathroom, passing by Ellie's backpack, who was now 14 years old and in her second year of high school, and Peter felt that he had lost a lifetime. Even more when he learned that the teenager had lived mostly with May when the disappearances occurred, because sometimes the emotional instability of the mercenary didn't allow him to take care of his daughter, and since May had welcomed Ellie as her own granddaughter since the first day they met, the woman did her best so that the girl didn't feel the change during Peter's disappearance.

Although she did, because the day Peter came back, Ellie hugged him so hard that Peter got very worried, and she didn't stop crying all day until Peter promised her he wouldn't leave, then they talked all afternoon on the couch, while Peter tried to assimilate everything until the young girl fell asleep on his lap.

Peter sighed and went into the bathroom to take a shower and brush his teeth. In the past, Wade would have joined him, whispering sweet-dirty nonsense against his neck while Peter laughed out loud; but now the apartment was empty, and the shower water seemed cold despite the heater.

Happy texted him, notifying Peter that he had new projects and clients who wanted to improve security in their businesses, hospitals, schools, etc. Now everyone lived with fear.

The image in the mirror grimaced, Peter looked horrible, pale and with dark circles under his eyes. "I need sun and apparently blood to suck."

The glasses that Tony left him rested on the sink, and although Peter avoided contact with them, it was sometimes necessary. In a sigh, Peter decided that he needed to have a serious conversation, something that would distract him. He took the lenses out of the box and placed them open on the sink to observe them with a frown marking his brows.

"Now what?" Peter asked, looking at the lenses to find an answer. "You left and left me in charge of everything, even knowing that I am only 25 years old, and no authority for that matter... what were you thinking Tony?"

The lenses didn't answer, as expected, but Peter could feel the presence of its owner in the room, heavy and strong as he always was. "What can I do?" Peter asked, his voice soft and whispering, broken by nostalgia. "Sometimes I wish I could just open the lab doors to complain all day with you, but it's always empty, and I can't with that much weigh, Tony... what can I do?"

Again there was no answer, and Peter growled, leaning on the sink to scratch his head. "Fine, you left me a whole company to continue your legacy, and trust me, I appreciate it, it's a great honor." Peter laughed, his incoherence and madness was probably reaching the edge. "But then at least give me some advice about personal things, because I don't want to worry Aunt May, Happy carries his own pain, and my boyfriend doesn't even look me in the eye when he talks."

Peter wiped the tears and took a deep breath, resting his weight on his arms and dropping his head. "Do you know how long it takes to stop missing someone?"

When he raised his head, the glasses had not even moved, and Peter let out a small laugh, shaking his head before putting the lenses back into their box, and leaving them in the same place as always, Peter entered the shower to take a bath like every morning, with nothing different, nothing interesting that would take him out of his routine.

~ • ~

When Peter came out of the bathroom, his phone rang as usual, to which Peter quickly placed his boxer before answering the video call. "What's new?"

"I thought you'd never answer," Happy replied on the other side of the phone, looking up at the road he was driving. "I wanted to let you know that tonight your aunt and I will go out, and we'll probably take Ellie with us, so if you guys want to go out too then you're free to do so, kay? You haven't been alone in a while, Wade must be hating me for that."

Peter laughed, the irony some things had was sometimes funny. "I'll think about it, just take care of my aunt and don't tell me anything private please."

Happy smiled, shaking his head. "You should tell her that, I have no rest."

"I'm gonna hang up," Peter objected, wrinkling his nose and leaving the bathroom to take some clothes.

The other man laughed, and then paused for a moment to prolong an awkward silence. "Are you alright, boy?"

Peter stopped, looking at his clothes for a moment, so close and yet so far from Wade's. "Yeah," he said, almost robotically, as much as the fake smile that was drawn on his face. "If I need anything, I'll let you know, Happy, don't worry."

Happy seemed to hesitate for a moment, but Peter knew he was not going to press, he never did because he understood better than anyone that things took time. Then he nodded, smiling slightly. "If you need anything, whatever it is kid, let me know, yes? You know I'm always here."

Peter opened his mouth, determined to speak, he knew that just by saying _one_ word, the others would come out more easily, Happy would not judge if Peter broke into tears until snot combined with his tears, he would probably even join him because they both needed it. But the door of the apartment opened, and Wade's boots made the wood creak in his path until he stopped in the middle of the kitchen to leave some shopping bags on the table.

Peter frowned, Wade never came back until late into the night, especially if Peter was still there. Peter had even come to think that Wade had a lover, but the brunet was still too selfish to let him go, even if Wade was cheating, Peter thought he could live with it as long as Wade didn't abandon him, which was quite toxic and he knew it. Then he would feel guilty about thinking that Wade would have a lover, when Wade would never be a cheater.

Peter didn't even know what to think anymore.

Happy cleared his throat, and Peter returned to the real world, turning his gaze to his phone as he smiled. "Good luck on your date, Happy, and thank you, I will keep your offer in mind."

Happy mimiked a soldier's salute and ended the call, leaving Peter alone with his insecurity and a huge elephant decorating the room. His clothes were still in his arms, and the only thing that protected Peter from the cold were his boxers and Deadpool's slippers, while on the other side of the wall was Wade, who didn't seem to move or make any sound, Peter wondered even if he was still there.

It had been a long time since either of them had undressed in front of the other, Peter doubted that if he went out like this to the kitchen Wade would turn to stare at him like he used to, very rarely Peter noticed that sometimes Wade would look at his body, and took his eyes off immediately. It was _frustrating_.

Slowly the brunet peeked through the arch between the room and the kitchen, thinking that so many years of being a very silent super hero, never served to surprise Wade. Even less at that moment, since Wade was already with his arms crossed, resting against one of the kitchen furniture and looking towards the wall that Peter was using as a shield.

"I brought breakfast," Wade said, pointing to a paper bag that was on the table. "If you already ate you can save it for later."

"I haven't had breakfast," Peter replied quickly, wanting to preserve the intimate moment that he felt they were perhaps having. "Thanks."

Wade nodded, eyeing him for a moment before looking away, Peter felt his heart skip a beat, it had been a long time since those eyes had looked at him directly. The mercenary cleared his throat and went to move the chair for Peter to sit, and then he circulated the table to sit in front of him. Peter did what was requested of him in silence, putting on his shirt so he wouldn't feel so naked.

"Want some coffee?" Wade asked.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Peter interrupted.

Wade was silent for a moment, looking him straight in the eye with an expression of amazement, he seemed hurt by the mere idea.

"Is that what you want?" Wade asked.

"Never," Peter whispered, holding on the little emotional control he had left.

"Then why do you mention it?" Wade waited a moment, although he himself knew the answer.

"Because it's the only thing left to do to end whatever we have right now."

They both remained silent for a moment, letting the silence go on until the tension became stifling, and Peter was about to break, beg for Wade to ignore his words and go back to their routine, that even if he wanted to have a lover Peter would allow it, just please don't leave him.

But Wade spoke first, and Peter swallowed his screams. "I was actually thinking that we should go on a little trip, it seems less painful, don't you think?"

Peter tried to read Wade's expression, trying to understand how, after months without even looking him in the eye, he now came up with such an random idea. "What?"

Wade shrugged, smiling as if ashamed and looked down at his hands. "A trip, rent an RV, go around the road and forget about everything."

Peter frowned, because while the other looked at his hands as he spoke, Peter watched him. "What are you talking about?"

Wade then sighed, maybe somewhat irritated, Peter didn't even know anymore. "I'm talking about leaving for a few days, Peter," even his name on the mercenary's lips sounded different, distant. "To run away, to venture... to be us again."

Peter then looked down, his thoughts running at a mile per second, all future plans clouded by memories of the past. Until Peter shook his head and replied without looking up. "I can't go and leave the company alone."

Wade shrugged, or so it seemed because of the sound of his clothes, for Peter didn't dare look up yet. "Happy can take care of everything, it will only be a couple of days."

"What if something goes wrong?"

"We'll fix it later."

Peter snorted, perhaps hurt by the other's ingenuity "Bad things never wait."

"Life either," Wade replied, to which Peter looked up to meet very disappointed eyes.

Peter bit his lip, and tried to dodge the feeling "I can't let Tony down."

Wade then put both hands on the table with a loud noise, making the brunet jump, it wasn't even an abrupt movement, but at this point Peter was scared of everything.

"What about me, Peter?" Wade asked, his voice cracking.

Peter opened his eyes in surprise, looking at Wade without being able to respond or knowing how to do it, to which Wade realized what he had just done, and in a moment of sorrow and shame, he lowered both hands to his lap to stop his anxiety, and taking a deep breath he slowly stood up so as not to scare Peter, who really just looked at him without saying anything.

Wade walked carefully to stood in front of Peter, looking him in the eye. "I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry," Peter didn't answer, and Wade looked down. "It's not just for you that I want to do this, you know? I need it too Peter, because although we have never spoken about it, for me it's still a torture to have lost you. You disappeared for 5 years in which I wanted to die every day, until I had to learn to survive without you, do you know how hard that was?"

Wade stopped for a moment to breathe and open and close his hands without really knowing what to do with them, until he decided to gently take Peter's hands in his, causing the brunet to shrink when he felt so much contact from his boyfriend that he had not felt for months.

"You came back," Wade sighed. "but those were 5 years that I didn't have you by my side and I thought I would lose you forever... I still need to heal."

Peter bit his lip, Wade's scars looked painful, he had probably not been treating them correctly for a long time, with ointment and sage like Peter used to do every morning, and his eyes seemed tired because although every night they lay in the same bed, neither really slept. From what Peter understood, and even more from what he knew, was that the only thing that stopped him from running out that door with his boyfriend into a free and unknown world, was nothing more than the fear of failure, loss, loneliness.

"Just a few days?" Peter asked, his voice barely audible.

Wade smiled like he hadn't done in a long time, at least not in front of Peter, and nodded, squeezing Peter's hands a little to give him reassurance. "Just a few days, I swear, after that you can choose what to do with my horrible ass."

Peter chuckled and raised his hand to Wade's face, placing his palm on the mercenary's cheek to feel the heat that was always so close and yet so far.

"Okay fine," Peter nodded "Let me tell Happy and May. What about Ellie?"

"I already talked to her," Wade said, standing up to get his bags ready. "She made me promise that we would take her camping 7 times after this."

~ ° ~

The suitcases were ready, and the packing was done in a very silent ritual, because although they had spoken, although they had touched and their eyes had met again, things were still somewhat awkward, and Peter was trying to keep his insecurity from eating him away, just as he was sure that Wade was in the same situation.

Once that process was over, Peter said goodbye with a kiss from his aunt and a hug from Ellie, who had just arrived from school and lately lived glued to Peter. "We'll be back, don't worry Belly."

Ellie nodded, stroking Peter's arm unconsciously. Her body was now that of a teenage girl, but she was still a little 9-year-old in Peter's eyes. "Next time I'll go with you" she said, smiling a little.

"It's a promise," Peter said, hugging her tightly one last time before leaving the apartment.

He went down with his suitcases, to find that Wade was already waiting for him, sitting inside an RV that was parked on the sidewalk, it was big and cozy, with black exterior and several windows surrounding it.

"The plan was long overdue," Wade admitted, taking the bags from Peter's hands to accommodate them inside, without looking at him out of shame.

"What would you have done if I had said no?" Peter asked.

Wade shrugged and climbed into the car while Peter followed him. "I would've probably gone alone to drown my sorrows."

Getting out of the city was the first step, leaving behind the sounds of the street, and everything that could distract them, to enter the rural, roads where everything around them were pastures, animals, a few trees here and there, laid out to detail certain areas of the plain, and in the distance, powerful as always, the mountains, thus tracing a long and silent route.

Peter could not help thinking, lately it was what he did most, and remember, just as he remembered his return. He did not remember leaving, the time had felt relatively short compared to the 5 years he was told that he had faded away.

The battle against Thanos was over, Peter was in a catatonic state after Tony died even though he tried with all his will to take the gauntlet as quickly as possible away from Thanos, away from more deaths, tragedies, losses... And that was when Peter saw him.

Wade watched him from afar, his suit was torn in several sections, half of his mask was torn off and his eyes were so wide open that Peter thought Wade had seen a ghost, later realizing that it was indeed like seeing a ghost. The rest of his face and body were motionless, it was as if he was afraid to move because Peter would disappear.

Peter remembers gasping, and suddenly his face was wet, full of tears, and before he could react, Wade was right in front of him, he took Peter's face in both hands and repeated his name like a saint's litany.

Wade looked at him with an expression of complete surprise, and his hands began to inspect Peter's body, who kept crying. And as soon as he finished his inspection, the mercenary hugged him, with a protective force, preventing anyone else from taking Peter away.

And with one of his hands buried in Peter's hair, who had his face buried in the mercenary's neck, Wade finally said. "Peter, is it really you?"

And Peter doesn't remember answering the question, but Wade continued to ask the same thing over and over again, even when they were safe in the hospital where Bruce and other doctors inspected Peter to their content.

"I can't believe it's you," or "Say my name, _Baby boy_ ," and just mentioning Peter's nickname, Wade's eyes filled with tears and he couldn't continue talking.

And Peter was very confused.

Aunt May was a little older and was in a relationship with Happy, who was also older. Nat had died, Tony had a daughter and now he was also dead, and Steve had returned to the past and now he was very old... and although Wade did not age, the last few years had left their marks, bags under his eyes, a house that required many repairs after the damages caused by guns, fists and katanas, and a man who seemed destroyed by life... Everything had changed and Peter did not remember anything.

"Do you want snacks?" Wade asked, suddenly breaking Peter's line of thoughts, who looked at him somewhat misplaced. Wade smiled a little, something awkward maybe, and pointed to the glove compartment of the car. "I brought some snacks."

Peter turned his gaze to the place and opened it to find a pair of paper bags, one with chips, and the other with seeds and cookies. Peter chuckled and took out the second option, he wasn't hungry, but he didn't want to let Wade down or make him feel bad. The other man was trying, why wouldn't he do the same?

"Thanks, do you want some?"

Wade shrugged "Let's see how good a chef I am."

Peter laughed, the cookies looked homemade, probably the mercenary had prepared them the night before while Peter was patrolling, and Peter knew that Wade was good in the kitchen, it was one of those passions he had apparently forgotten during those 5 years of misfortune, but he had returned to retake it, and Peter was happy that Wade was doing something for himself.

"It's delicious," Peter said, splitting in half a jelly-filled cookie.

"Thank you, that's how I was born," Wade replied sheepishly.

For a moment, Peter didn't know how to react, it had been a long time since they looked at each other, even less flirt for that matter, but the malicious smile drawn at the corner of Wade's mouth, did nothing but break the awkward silence, and Peter began to laugh, laughing even more at the thought that such a silly joke made him mirth so much; and he knew that it was not the joke itself, but all that time he hadn't laughed.

Wade let out a few snorts too, shrugging and turning red, a joke so simple and yet so daring after all.

"Now I can't finish eating the cookie," Peter said sighing. "My stomach hurts from laughing so much."

"You better finish it," Wade said, smiling so much it seemed to burn. "I worked my ass to make them."

Peter smiled, biting the cookie again. "Have you gone to the place you're taking me?"

"Yeah," Wade replied, somehow serious and sharp, making Peter close his mouth and turn his attention back to the cookie so he wouldn't start panicking. Wade understood the weight of his voice and took a deep breath, he was trying to improve.

"I'm sorry," Wade said, wrinkling his mouth. "It's just that I went there a couple of times during those 5 years, in my best days Ellie and May were with me, or in my worst I just came alone. Back then I wished you could see the things I saw... now we have the chance."

His gaze took a break off the road to observe Peter, who had looked up at Wade to try to understand his feelings. Wade stared at him for a moment, but then the feeling was too much and his eyes simply had to return to the road in a mask for the need of concentration on the road, but Peter understood, it was still too soon. They were trying.

"I'm excited," was the last thing Peter said, before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

~ • ~

Peter was fighting, everything was blurry, fragments of moments that at that time felt so real and palpable, one action maybe, something could change fate, maybe if he tried, or if they did it together, anything that was necessary to kill Thanos and... to save Tony.

In his arms was the infinity gauntlet, a few steps away there was a huge group of strange creatures trying to kill him, to destroy him, they didn't care about the gauntlet, their goal was to destroy everything.

And then Captain Marvel took the gauntlet, and Peter was in shock because he had just arrived and the world was a disaster. The last thing he saw was Tony, with the gauntlet placed over his arm and being the hero that everyone knew he was...

Doctor Strange told Peter not to think about other possibilities because there were none, but if only...

"I have tea."

Peter opened his eyes and then closed them, the sun was going down on the horizon, the afternoon was beginning to fall and now the only thing around them were very tall and leafy trees outlining the road.

"Where are we?" Peter asked, still somewhat stunned.

"We're almost there, just a little higher," Wade said, settling a little to find something in the trunk behind his seat. "It's getting cold, I turned on the heat, but if you want a blanket or sweater, there are some inside that drawer."

Peter yawned and stretched a little, so that he was completely seated and not lying in the seat as he did a few moments before while he slept. Wade watched him for a moment, and when Peter turned to look at him, Wade focused his gaze back on the road and coughed a little. "You were somewhat uncomfortable in your dream," Wade clarified, although Peter didn't really ask, but it was nice to hear his voice. "I thought maybe it would be better if you had tea and continued more calmly."

"Yeah, I-" Peter shrugged and smiled a little.

Wade nodded "I get it."

"But I'm better now," Peter clarified, he didn't want to ruin things, he really wanted to try to be happy again.

"I'm glad," Wade said, nodding without looking at him, intimacy was still something they should work on. "Very well, we're almost there, if you want, you can put on a hoodie, and while you're at it, pass one for me too please."

Peter nodded and climbed on the seats to go back and look in the drawers for something warm so they could both use. There were several sweaters, among which some looked older than others, as if they had been stored for many years and kept the humidity of the closet in which they were left. And then Peter noticed that those were his hoodies, which he apparently hadn't used in 5 years. Wade had washed and kept them in his closet for all those years.

"Ready?" Wade asked, opening the door at the back of the RV. Peter hadn't noticed that it had already stopped moving.

"Uh yeah," Peter said, wiping his eyes to avoid any sign of melancholy, he took the first 2 coats he found and gave one to Wade, who didn't let Peter out until he had his coat on. "You don't want to get sick and make us have to go back," he had said, even knowing that Peter hardly ever got sick because of his fast metabolism.

Once warm, Peter went out, allowing the cool night air to caress his face, his nose turning red and his breath coming out of his mouth painting a mist with his words.

"Where are we?" Peter asked.

Wade smiled, his hands tucked into the bags of his coat and his ears turning red. "Somewhat far from the city."

"I can see that," Peter chuckled. "How did you find this place?"

Wade shrugged, turning back to the RV to open the compartments below and take out the food bags. That night they would have hamburgers.

"I had nothing better to do," he said.

Peter decided not to ask more questions, maybe at some point in the future they could talk about it, life before Peter came back, for now there was bread and patties that needed to be cooked. "Let me help you with that," Peter said, approaching to take a few bags from Wade, who raised his head without saying anything when Peter was close enough to feel their skin brush.

"Yeah," Wade said with a sore sigh, before giving Peter the bags of bread and lettuce. "I'll take out the table."

Wade put the meat, cheese and tomatoes on his bag and returned to the RV without saying more. Peter felt the need to follow him, ask what he wanted to do with all this if he still couldn't even feel his skin against his, but he stopped, leaving the bread bags on the ground to approach the rocky cliff and look down.

Trees that moved very little with the wind, their enormous branches did not yield to the surf of their leaves; rivers that traveled with force and rapidity, creating sounds on its way until its waters crashed against the rocks and descended through the falls; then there were the birds, deer, probably bears and wolves, squirrels and skunks, Peter could imagine a scene from Bambi and that made him laugh; and finally there was the sky, clearer than ever, even the moon was starting to peek over the eternal space that was increasingly darker.

Peter felt drowned, oppressed by so much beauty and tranquility, not knowing how to handle so many emotions, he was still so young.

"Pretty, right?" Wade asked, approaching him, he had already put things on the table and had a few branches ready for the campfire. Peter didn't know how long he had been watching, but apparently it took him a long time to return.

"It's exhausting," Peter admitted, making Wade laugh loudly, who nodded wiping away the tears that had caused him to laugh.

"Yes, pretty exhausting," he confirmed, placing his hands on his hip and looking around. "We are nothing here, I guess that's why I like it."

Peter looked at him for a while, his gaze gone on the landscape, smile plastered like a new ornament.

Wade didn't age, but it was true that during those 5 years his body had changed, the bags under his eyes reappeared when they had stopped being so visible during their years of relationship, his shoulders looked down, tired and exhausted like the rest of him, his scars were more marked and his body looked dry, it was obvious that the mercenary had stopped putting on creams and peels. His voice was hoarse and sad, when before it was the reason of Peter's laughter. The corners of his mouth were no longer as marked, since he had stopped smiling; and his eyes no longer shone as before, and when they did, he had been crying.

All because there was no one to take care of him.

"Yeah," Peter whispered, looking forward again. "We are definitely nothing here."

Wade took a deep breath and lowered his head, kicking a stone with his boot. Then he looked up with his tired smile and eyes lighter than the sky. "Time to eat?"

Peter returned the smile, sincere as he had not shown it in a long time. "Sure, how do I help?"

During the creation of the hamburgers there was very little to talk about, this until Wade decided to mention that he had brought beers and other alcoholic beverages, and both ended up somewhat drunk, at least what their immune bodies allowed. They ate two or three burned burgers, enjoyed a few jokes, which probably if they had been sober would not have been that funny, and ended up lying next to the ravine looking at the stars, their bodies in opposite directions only joined by their heads, their ears rubbing.

Peter sighed, being followed by an even louder sigh from Wade, who came a little closer and turned his head to look at him. "I came here many times when I felt I had nothing left," he said, breathing carefully and holding his breath when Peter turned to look at him. "On many occasions I thought I would not make it."

Peter stared at him in silence, his gaze reviewing all the details that had long felt so distant, from the bones where his eyebrows should be, to the curve of his lips and the cleft in his chin. "You still love me?"

"More than anything in the world," Wade said, without hesitation and with his eyes fixed on Peter's.

"Then what happened?"

"I lost you."

"But I came back."

"5 years later Peter," Wade said, his eyes crystallized by tears peeking out. "I had to accept your death, learn to live with it, and suffered because I couldn't avoid the tragedy. Those were my days for 5 long years," Wade stopped to breathe and turn his gaze back to the sky. "But then you came back and I... didn't know what to do."

"I was afraid, and confused." Peter whispered.

"You think I wasn't?" Wade asked, looking at him again. "Every day I wake up and stare at you to make sure you haven't disappeared again, and I run out of air when I don't see you arrive at night at the time you always do, or in the mornings when I open my eyes and you're not by my side, and it's only that you needed to go to the bathroom," Wade laughed desperately, rubbing his hands against his face. "Sometimes I think I'm going crazy."

Peter bit his lip, getting up a little to sit down. "I thought maybe you had found someone else and didn't love me anymore."

Wade frowned and sat down as well. "What?"

"I thought maybe I had become a burden to you," Peter wiped his eyes and sniffed just a little. "I thought this trip would be to end things once and for all."

" _Peter_."

"Can you blame me, Wade?" Peter asked, the last word sounding like a whisper drowned in tears.

Wade looked down "No," he said, shaking his head. "I can't," then started playing with his hands. "Ellie and you are the most important people in my world, Peter, and that's why I'm afraid to get excited every day, to have you in my arms, trace my love on your skin like we used to do every night, and then wake up one morning without you by my side," he said, looking up and getting a little closer to Peter. "Because I don't think I'm capable of suffering so much pain again, Pete."

For a moment Peter was speechless, though it probably wasn't necessary, for for the first time in a long time they both stared at each other in perfect silence, while their eyes filled with silent tears that only blinking made them fall. Wade sighed and with his nose brushed Peter's, who shivered a little at the overwhelming contact he had not felt in so long.

"I think we'd better go to bed." Wade smiled a little, standing up and walking away, letting the space cool. "Tomorrow will be a long day and we must save energy... and the food of course, before wild animals come visit to decide that we are their dinner."

Peter was so overwhelmed that he couldn't laugh even though it was funny, he was still trying to process the first sentence and would probably laugh later over the joke, who knows, what he did know was that he should keep trying, because they both needed it. With a sigh, Peter stood up and began to help putting away the food they used for the hamburgers.

The liquor had already left their bodies; that night they would sleep together and the bed was not so big to keep them apart.

~ ° ~

Wade was snoring at his side, naturally after driving all day, the other man must be worn out, but in all honesty, it wasn't what Peter expected, although he really didn't know what to expect, but sleeping wasn't one of them.

Moonlight entered through the windows they had left uncovered, and on the roof of the RV there was a window that Wade had asked Peter if he preferred it to be open or covered. Peter preferred it open, precisely for that moment in particular when the sky looked as clear and starry as he had never seen it, surrounded by the tops of the pines that circulated the RV.

Wade slept looking at the wall, lately that was the custom, and Peter really didn't know why he expected something different that night, but that didn't stop him from getting a little closer, he wasn't going to hug Wade, Peter just wanted to feel his chest against the toned back that he had been observing for a few months and just couldn't touch.

Slowly he began to slide towards Wade, trying not to move much to avoid waking him. Peter was breathing slowly and almost soundless, like a child trying not to be discovered acting asleep. The mercenary's shoulders moved up and down, and Peter couldn't help putting his hand on his homoplate, to feel the movement, his heat, his palpitations. He was so mesmerized that without thinking he placed his forehead over Wade's spine, just where the bones made their way.

Peter closed his eyes, took a deep breath and held it as soon as he heard Wade stop snoring. The brunet didn't know how to react, remaining completely still and not knowing whether or not to remove his hand from Wade's shoulder. _'Maybe he dislikes it,'_ Peter thought _'Or maybe it's worse if I take my hand off, too obvious.'_

"You okay?" Wade asked at last, without turning around.

"Yes," Peter said, clearing his throat and removing his hand from Wade's skin to move away. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," Wade whispered, turning around to face Peter. "It's fine, I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

Wade took Peter's hand in his and smiled; It seemed somewhat awkward, like someone who is doing something for the first time, trying to look safe despite the uncertainty.

"I'm fine," Peter promised, his voice barely audible. "I was tempted I guess," he said, letting out a chuckle, which was followed by a snort.

"You can get closer, I don't bite unless you want me to."

Peter bit his lip and moved closer, allowing Wade to surround him with his arms, one under his head, and the other around his waist. "It wouldn't bother me if you did," Peter said, his fearlessness escaping his lips before he could stop the words.

Wade stopped his movements, and his breathing seemed cut for a moment while his Adam's apple moved when he swallowed hard, and Peter immediately wanted to slap his own face. "Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay," Wade said, stroking Peter's face with his knuckles. "It's just that I'm not ready yet, those were many emotions for one day."

Peter blushed so much that he had to bury his face in Wade's chest. "I'm sorry, it's been a long time and I'm awkward by nature."

Wade laughed and shook his head "I already told you there is nothing to be ashamed of, I'm the awkward one here."

"You're perfect," Peter interrupted, sighing and closing his eyes, now that he was in Wade's arms, he could realize how tired he was.

"Those were 5 years, Baby boy," Wade said, and although Peter wanted to ask what he meant by that, the weight of his eyelids gained, and Peter fell asleep dreaming about good things.

~ • ~

Wade was not in his arms when Peter woke up, but that was normal. Peter got up with his hair here and there, his eyes still trying to process his surroundings although the light was struggling to enter between the extra curtains that Wade had apparently put in the morning.

Peter yawned, sitting on the bed to observe his pitiful image in the rearview mirror, and then heard a loud bang outside, an ax and trunks accompanied by Wade's voice singing acapella a song that Peter didn't recognize, maybe it was new and had come out while Peter was missing.

The brunet moved one of the curtains of the way and smiled when Wade looked up with his sweaty face, and white shirt he wore next to the blue jeans stained by the earth or patches of sweat. "You look like a hermit."

"I've become one lately," Wade admitted, shrugging and telling Peter with his head to come out. "It's time for a bath."

Peter frowned and looked inside the RV. "There are no showers here."

"No," Wade nodded, setting the ax aside and removing the gloves from his hands. "But we have water all around us."

Peter opened his eyes wide and shook his head. "You can't be thinking about-"

"Oh yeah," Wade said, nodding with a big smile.

"It must be freezen," Peter squealed.

"We'll have a nice cup of hot coffee later."

"We will die frozen."

"The cold never bothered me anyway."

"Wade!"

The mercenary began to laugh out loud, while Peter still glared at him from the RV, covering his body with the blanket of just imagining how cold the river would be. "The flow could take us."

Wade snorted, letting out a sigh while resting his arm on the handle of the ax. He looked incredibly handsome, and Peter was sure he knew it. "I've been comming here all these years, almost living here before you came back." Wade shrugged and winked at Peter, who didn't want to admit it, but had blushed like a new bride. "I know a pond where we can go, its waters are calm and so clear that you can see without any problem the colors of the rocks you step on."

"I'll be ready in a few minutes," Peter muttered, standing up and walking away to take some clothes, he had to take a sweater with him, either he wanted it or not.

~ ° ~

The sun made Peter feel suffocated, panting as he tried to go down the mountain without sliding to his early death. Wade scoffed throughout the tour, although he continued to help Peter as if he had been born for that, while Peter continued to explain that he had always lived in the city, and that the closest thing to an outdoors he had experienced were camps in the garden of his school friends.

"Stop with the excuses now," Wade said, sighing with a smile and putting his hands on his hips while Peter muttered that they were no excuses.

"We're here," Wade said, leaving his bag on a rock near the river.

Peter stopped to take a deep breath and look at the pond. There was a waterfall on his left, which went down the slopes created by the same rocks of the river until it reached the well, where indeed the water was so clear that he could see the small fish swimming and the water waving delicately.

"I'm going to freeze," was the only coherent thing Peter could say, making Wade laugh again.

"You're a scaredy cat." Wade said, taking off his boots and socks.

Peter glared at him even though Wade wasn't watching him, and while muttering between his teeth that if he died there was no hospital nearby, he also took off his shoes and socks.

"You should take off your pants too, just leave the boxers and the shirt," Wade said, also taking off his shirt to make Peter nervous, he was sure.

"And why do you take off your shirt?" Peter asked, without looking up to hide his flushed cheeks, although his ears probably gave him away.

"I get used to the cold faster this way."

Wade shrugged and began to approach the pond, staying by the water to breathe deeply and continue walking until the water was wetting his knees. "Fuck fucking dammit, it hurts like shit at first."

Peter hugged his waist and shivered. "You want to kill me."

Wade laughed with his teeth snapping against each other. "You'll be fine."

"Not even _you_ are fine," Peter squealed, pointing with his hand the obvious tremor in Wade's body. "And you can't even die!"

"Come here right now!" Wade demanded, smiling though he tried to appear serious.

"No," Peter crossed his arms.

"Peter, come before the water gets cold."

"It's already cold!"

"Not as much as it will be if you don't come in."

Peter laughed "Not even you believe that."

Wade glared at him, while a malicious smile was drawn on his face. "Come in now."

"No."

"Peter, right now!"

"No!"

"Don't make me go for you."

Peter gasped, looking offended. "Don't you dare."

Wade raised an eyebrow. "Wanna bet?" He asked, coming out of the pond slowly.

"You better stop," Peter threatened, stepping away slowly with his arm stretched out to put on a shield.

" _Peter_ "

" _Wade_ "

Wade sighed, his hands on his hip as he looked at the floor, Peter thought maybe Wade really wanted Peter to get into the pond and now was hurt, so he let his guard down to look at Wade's face, but obviously it was all a mask of betrayal, because in a second, Peter was on Wade's shoulder, getting closer and closer to the pond like a sack of potatoes while trying to get away in every possible way.

"Wade, I'm gonna die!"

"You're just a drama queen," Wade chuckled, entering the well and taking Peter's air out when he felt the cold water against his skin.

"Oh God, save me," Peter prayed, clinging to Wade's shoulders with his arms, and circling Wade's waist with his legs when the mercenary tried to put him down.

"Peter," Wade continued to laugh, carrying him anyway, his arms under Peter's butt to maintain stability. "I won't let you freeze, trust me."

"I trust you, but not the frozen water," Peter whispered against Wade's shoulder and watching the water as his body trembled.

"You're going to smell bad," Wade joked, giving Peter a few spanking.

"When you smell ugly I don't judge you."

"You always used to tell me that I should take a bath."

"Because you came home full of blood!"

Wade continued to laugh, pressing Peter against his body and creating that intimacy between them which Peter seemed to desire as an animal in heat. Wade's hands grabbed his ass, his big chest warmed Peter's, while his cock pressed against the mercenary's belly, which purred with his laughter, and Peter began to understand that his body had been so long without sexual intimacy that it was beginning to react to everything.

Peter gasped when he felt an erection that began to appear, and immediately released himself from Wade's arms, falling into the water and naturally losing his bonner. "Holy fuck!" Peter shouted, getting up as fast as his trembling body allowed him. "I'm d-dying."

"I'm sorry," Wade said, helping him to stand up even though it wasn't his fault. "You suddenly let go and I wasn't prepared."

"I-it's fine," Peter stuttered, circling his torso with his arms, the water reached his hip where Wade reached a little above his knees. "I d-don't think I can take a b-bath like this every day."

Wade laughed and shook his head, taking the water from the river to splash it on his own head, shaking it like a dog and gasping for the cold. "Next t-time we'll bring a towel, you c-can wet it and bathe with it," and he repeated the previous action again.

"You're c-crazy," Peter whispered while trembling.

Wade laughed and sighed, approaching Peter to take water in his hands and blow hot air on it, before splash it over Peter's arms. "The faster you finish, the faster we will get out of here."

Peter took a deep breath between gasps, glaring at Wade for the last time, and he quickly finished wetting any part of the body that he thought was essential despite the shirt and boxer that still remained in place, and which Peter didn't plan to remove as he was sure he was on the edge of hypothermia.

Once outside, Wade helped him dry, both had to undress for this step, and although Peter blushed despite both knowing each other's body better than the palm of their hands, it was so cold that his dick remained down.

"You're skinny," Wade commented, helping him put on a dry hoodie. "You better eat double Chilly for lunch today."

"I don't t-think the RV's bathroom endures s-so much," Peter said through chattering teeth, causing a new wave of laughter in Wade.

"It'll have to put up with it." Wade pulled his own coat from his backpack and put it on Peter.

"What about you?"

"I'm fine, your lips are blue."

Peter opened his eyes wide "I told you I was going to die."

Wade snorted. "Come here."

And without a warning, nothing that could prepare him for the next step, Wade decided to just kiss him, his lips glued to Peter's in a long, quiet kiss, in which not even their tongues were participants, only their lips met along the way and warmed each other. Peter still had no reaction when Wade leaned his forehead against Peter's, his eyes closed and took a long breath.

"Still here?" Wade asked, still not opening his eyes.

"Yes," Peter whispered, out of breath and trying to process what happened.

"Good," Wade nodded, brushing his forehead against Peter's before opening his eyes "I'm glad."

Then as it arrived, it also left, for the mercenary simply released him to take his backpack and begin his way back to their "camp", while Peter blinked several times watching him until he decided to follow.

"You confuse me," Peter had said that afternoon as they picked up the clothes they had put to dry on the branches of trees and shrubs. Wade looked at him sideways, saying nothing and just waiting, to which Peter bit his lip and continued to fold his clothes so that it seemed that he was not drowning with uncomfortable thoughts in his head about what happened.

"I just don't know how to take what happened."

"What is it that you don't know how to take?" Wade asked, opening the trunk of the clothes to put the already dry ones there.

Peter rolled his eyes, turning his back on Wade because he really didn't want to argue. "I just want to know if that's a good thing."

"The kiss?"

Peter looked annoyed. "Of course I'm talking about the kiss, what else would I be talking about? The water?"

"It was a gesture of care," Wade said, shrugging. "I felt it was a good time to do it."

"Yeah well," Peter approached to leave the clothes he picked up in the trunk. "I'm still here, aren't I?"

Wade nodded "You are."

Peter only looked at him, to which Wade smiled and approached to kiss his nose, then looked him straight in the eye, while Peter felt he was drowning and that his life could end, but Wade shortened the distance again and kissed him back, taking a breath with his nose, the mercenary circled the right side of Peter's neck with his hand, and deepened the kiss, allowing his tongues to come into play, finding themselves on the way and allowing Peter to suck Wade's a little, who chuckled and caught Peter's upper lip between his teeth, releasing him when Peter groaned.

"Time to eat," Wade said, somewhat agitated and his cheeks red.

Peter was eager to eat, although of course he was referring to another meal, for he didn't think he would literally end up sitting in front of the campfire with a can of Chilly while Wade put music on his phone. But things are often not as we want them, and that night they both slept in each other's arms, and only slept.

~ • ~

Every day was beautiful in that place. Some bird announced the morning, while another joined them until it became a song full of birds. The leaves of the trees kept moving, and although the wind was strong, it seemed a whisper among the branches of the huge trees.

"We're in spring," Wade commented, preparing things to go fishing.

"It's cold at night," Peter commented, taking one of the buckets and tying the backpack around his waist.

Wade nodded, passing by his side now with the fishing rods sticking out of his backpack. "That's the beauty of this place," he said, while Peter followed him downstream. "It's unpredictable, like you."

"Or like you," Peter replied, making Wade laugh.

"Yep, like you and me."

That afternoon the sun was saying goodbye on the horizon, only half of its visible circumference there in the middle of the trees, and more and more nature covered it the more they went down to the river, and once there, the sun was only a diameter of its orange splendor.

"You'll want to stand close enough to drop the fishing line in the the river," Wade explained, placing the bait on its hook.

"I don't want to see them trying to breathe out of the water," Peter warned, putting in a worm that he previously made sure it was dead.

Wade laughed again, lately he laughed at everything he hadn't laughed in a long time, but Peter preferred to hear him giggle at not even speaking to him, of course.

"Only for you, I'll cut off their heads as soon as we take them out of the water," Wade said, turning his reel a few turns.

Peter wrinkled his nose and Wade just smiled. "Throw it and keep the position relaxed but paying attetion."

"I'm always paying attention."

Wade snorted "Ready to attack aliens, we are talking about fish here."

Peter glared at him, trying to clear his sight to get a little firmer, holding his rod like he would a metal bar, causing Wade to laugh again, this time between his teeth so that Peter wouldn't get angry.

"You're doing very well, Baby boy," Wade approached a little, placing himself behind Peter. "To be your first time in so long, you look like a professional."

"Don't tease."

"I mean it." Wade cleared his throat before sliding his hands over Peter's arms until he reached his own and took the fishing rod over Peter's hands. "You just need to relax a little more."

And Peter did the exact opposite, his entire body tensed and he was sure he had stopped breathing, especially when Wade's face peeked over his shoulder to observe what Peter was doing.

Peter knew how to fish, it had been a while since he last did it, he probably just needed to practice for a few minutes before starting to do it right, so Peter was sure he didn't need so much attention and private classes, but he didn't plan on complaining either, especially feeling a certain lump graze his backside, and the hot breath against his neck, almost agitated.

"Pete,"

"Yeah?"

"I think you got something."

"Wha-"

Peter gasped when his reel began to spin quickly "Oh god, I have something!"

"Good job, Baby boy!" Wade said excitedly, placing Peter's hand on the reel. "Keep it strong and start pulling as soon as you have it stable, place the cane between your legs and hold it there tightly."

"I'll lose my balls!" Peter squealed, still doing what Wade told him, and spinning the reel without problem.

Wade began to laugh, letting go of Peter until he managed to get the fish out of the water, screaming when it didn't stop jumping in the air, giving Peter a few slaps in the face with its tail until he dropped it on the rocks outside the river, and Wade stabbed it with a knife, killing it quickly.

"Jesus," Peter gasped, looking at him with a wrinkled face. "That was disturbing."

Wade didn't stop smiling, standing up and whistling as they did. "That was exciting! Let's go for the second one, what do you think?"

And without even giving Peter time to breathe, he again placed a bait on Peter's fishing rod hook, and circled him around the waist, this time attaching his body a little more as his arms surrounded him with a little more possession, making Peter gasp when the mercenary ran his lips over Peter's neck, before returning to the same place as before.

"Just one more," he whispered, and Peter bit his lip, he didn't even care about the food anymore.

Peter took a deep breath, choppy and almost in need, holding a groan as Wade moved his hips with a certain rhythm that Peter knew very well although he tried to ignore not to lose his sanity, and as soon as they caught the second fish and Wade made sure they had them in the bucket, they both climbed in silence to where their RV was.

None said anything, but it wasn't necessary, there was something drawn in Wade's face that said it all, a force of will that Peter didn't understand.

They left the fish in the cooler, and then continued to wash their hands, and as soon as Peter came out of the RV, their willpower broke completely, and Peter was cornered against the side of the RV, his lips being devoured by Wade's mouth, who was breathing hard against his cheek as he deepened the kiss, while with his hands, Wade lifted Peter under his knees and rubbed their erections between them.

Peter pulled away to groan, and Wade took the opportunity to trail his neck. "Fuck Wade," Peter gasped.

"It's been so long," Wade said, his voice almost desperate.

Wade's hands were everywhere and Peter felt the heat of his hard body against him, pulling him in. His finger’s brushed against Wade’s jaw before slipping into the back of his shoulders.

"This is too much," Peter groaned, pulling his head back and tearing Wade's shirt apart with his fingers.

"I can't stop," Wade moaned, lifting Peter higher to get inside the RV.

"I didn't ask you to stop," Peter breathed, putting his feet on the floor once they reached the steps of the RV and the door wasn't high enough to let them both pass together.

The brunet began to take off his clothes, while Wade did the same and looked at him like a wild animal, throwing himself on Peter even with his jeans on his ankles. They both bounced on the bed, and Peter groaned when Wade began sucking marks all over his body, turning him halfway around to bite him under the ribs and the back of his thigh.

The mercenary then kicked his jeans and continued kissing Peter in a way that made Peter felt like a beginner, their lips one above the other, their tongues suddenly appearing, their noses brushing between them or against their cheeks, depending on how much they deepen it. And his hands didn't even know what to do, Peter was just trying to take what he could, grabbing Wade's ass and pushing him up until Wade was panting over him.

The mercenary looked at him once, his eyes fully lit, his lips red and swollen, and his skin bright with sweat, he looked as beautiful as Peter remembered, and so he let him know, raising his hand to caress Wade's cheek, who leaned toward the caress, and with his eyes closed kissed Peter's palm, before getting up a little to turn around and get on 4 legs in the opposite direction to Peter, his ass just in front of the brunet's face, stretching a bit to reach the nightstand and take out a few condoms and lube.

"You better open me well, we haven't done it in a long time."

Peter watched him with wide eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Like never before," Wade replied, before taking Peter's cock in his hand and running his tongue around and over its head.

Peter bit his lip, moaning a little while wetting his fingers with lube. "God, you're going to be so tight."

"Mhm" Wade vibrated, his mouth buried in Peter's member and creating all kinds of sensations.

"You're going to kill me," Peter groaned, kissing Wade's ass, walking the path with his lips until he reached his entrance, taking the mercenary's hip with both hands, and licking with an idolization that only he who has lost himself in the desert and found the water after several days, knows what it feels like.

Wade began to moan harder, moving his hip up and down until Peter could no longer resist and inserted one finger first, just to make sure, but then Wade growled at him.

"Put another one, Baby boy, I can take it." and Peter listened, immediately curling his fingers to squeeze that spot that he knew very well how it felt.

Wade gasped, and Peter bit his lip, stroking the mercenary's muscular back and filling him with compliments. "You look so beautiful," he said between moans, while Wade sucked his dick in his warm mouth. "Fuck, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, Wade."

Wade groaned, causing a spasm in Peter, who introduced another finger as his vision clouded and his hips rose almost instinctively. "Don't stop," Peter gasped, squeezing Wade's leg with his free hand, while his fingers massaged the inside of the mercenary.

"Fuck Pete," Wade groaned, releasing his member to return to his starting position, placing himself over Peter and trapping his mouth in another heated kiss, as he rolled with Peter in his arms until the brunet was on him. "Just get in there."

Peter chuckled and nodded, positioning himself between Wade's legs to grab a condom and place it between Wade's teeth, who bit the corner so Peter could pull it out of the wrapper, and while Peter placed it on his cock, with his lips he drew a kissing path over Wade's Adam apple to his sternum, sinking his cock slowly and stealing the air from Wade in a gasp.

"Shit," Wade groaned, pulling Peter's hair to kiss him desperately. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Peter gasped, trying not to move to allow Wade's body to get used to it.

The other man stroked his neck, and reached out to take the lube and wet his own fingers, and as soon as Peter started to move, Wade brought his fingers to Peter's ass, massaging the area and looking at him with his upper lip between his teeth, asking permission.

Peter leaned down to kiss him, and without hesitation he nodded, immediately feeling Wade squeeze one of his buttcheeks with one hand, and with the other he inserted a finger into his hole. Peter moaned loudly, and Wade gasped, kissing Peter's neck as his hip moved to Peter's, and his insides tightened until he left Peter trembling with pleasure.

"Holy shit," Wade growled "I had forgotten how good your cock feels."

Peter chuckled, his laugh choked by a gasp when Wade introduced a second finger and massaged his prostate. "How does it feel?" Wade asked, his voice agitated by the proximity of orgasm, and the depth with which Peter entered.

"Too good, put another one."

Wade laughed and did what he was asked, adding a third finger and moving them in circles until he drove Peter crazy, who felt his cock throbbing inside Wade.

"I'm coming," he gasped, taking his dick out and opening another condom desperately to place it on Wade's cock, who only bit his lip to keep his willpower at bay.

Peter climbed onto Wade's lap, and taking the mercenary's cock in his hand, the brunet began to descend on his dick, slowly pushing it in until the two of them were gasping.

"Don't move or this will end too quickly," Wade whispered, looking at the roof of the RV and squeezing Peter's thighs with his hands, who without strength, dropped onto the mercenary's chest, kissing the scars while feeling his entrance throbbing. He had not felt so full for months.

"I'm going to move," Peter whispered against Wade's neck, kissing him just under the jaw when Wade nodded.

"Okay," Wade breathed "the show must go on, I'm ready."

Peter then sat back straight, putting his hands on Wade's chest to start moving his hips up and down, remembering how good it felt to have sex and to feel Wade's cock penetrating him until he was left without coherence.

"Fuck Wade," Peter groaned, taking his own dick in his fist.

"You feel good?" Wade asked, his voice a combination between gasps and grunts. "Because you look so good like this."

Peter bit his lip, pulling breathy air through his mouth and holding himself tightly, as his legs were beginning to give way. "It feels too good."

"Fuck Baby boy," Wade groaned, squeezing Peter's ass with both hands and helping him to continue the movement. "I'm coming."

Peter groaned, Wade's scarred cock brushing Peter's prostate without regret until he spoke only inconsistencies. "Oh god, oh god, oh fuck."

"I know," Wade moaned, stroking Peter's arm and raising his hip tightly.

He slumped at little against the weight of all of the sensations and feelings slamming into him all at once, all pent up and locked away where they’d both left them, trying to resist. But there was no resisting now. Wade’s hands came over his hips, gripping and bruising where they touched, and Peter moaned, leaning into it, wanting oh so much more. And when Wade pushed in for the climax, Peter gasped, removing the condom from his dick to pull one last time and paint Wade's chest and belly in such a way that a puddle was left over his torso.

Peter pulled out Wade's cock and flopped down next to him, both of them gasping for air, their bodies sweaty and the RV windows completely fogged up. And then Peter was the first to start laughing, a completely sincere and ecstatic laugh, his belly contracting with his laughter, until Wade followed and they both didn't stop laughing until their bodies gave no more.

"We have to change the sheets before we go eat the fish," Wade sighed, still lying down and without the slightest intention of doing so.

"We should sleep," Peter muttered, rolling onto his side.

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one with a pool of cum on you."

Peter smiled, rubbing his face against the sheet, and then leaned over to kiss Wade on the cheek "Thank you," he whispered, before standing up to find a cloth so he could wipe Wade clean.

~ ° ~

After that day, sex was part of their routines, they had sex in the RV, outside the RV, on the table where they usually put the ingredients of their food, by the campfire, on the way to the river, in the river, out of the river, etc, and life has never been so good.

One afternoon, Wade even took out a small wooden box from the RV, discovering a beautiful weed plant inside and the tools to prepare the joint. Peter had never tried it, the effect would not take long on him, it would be the same as with alcohol, but that didn't take away the curiosity he felt.

"You can pull about 3 times before you stop," Wade had told him, preparing the thing by the fire "I say it because it only works for me that way."

And once prepared, Peter bit his lip as he watched Wade light it against his mouth and pull with a certain divinity that Peter still didn't understand. Then the mercenary turned towards him, letting go of the smoke that was inside his mouth and placed the joint in front of Peter.

"It's okay if you don't want to," Wade said, his voice hoarse from the smoke.

Peter took the joint in his hands, and looked into Wade's eyes, who smirked somewhat mocking, his gaze saying "I know you won't because you're a good boy" although maybe he was just smiling sincerely and Peter just needed a push. Whatever it was, the brunet didn't think twice, placing the thing between his lips to hit a pull that left him with watery eyes and smoke coming out of his ears, coughing like the beginner he was.

Wade let out a loud laugh, taking the joint to hug Peter with one arm and give him a kiss on the temple. "The first time you have to pull just a little, you almost swallowed the whole wick."

"You should have told me that before," Peter said, still coughing and wiping his tears.

"Watch," Wade muttered, placing the blunt back in his mouth and pulling for 4 seconds before withdrawing it, holding the smoke for another 2 seconds and then letting it out. "You can pull less, but with our quick recovery, it's best if it hits deep."

"A brownie for example," Peter said, taking the blunt from Wade, who looked at him in surprise. "What?" Peter asked, smiling and bringing the joint to his mouth to pull and try to keep it in as much as possible, failing a little less than the time before.

"The brownie goes straight to the blood, and that's why its effect is more lasting," Peter said, cannabis starting to take effect on him when Peter felt his body lighten up, and he really wanted to laugh. "Smoking it reaches your blood, but it's not so direct and therefore the effects are minor."

"Oh God," Wade snorted, kissing Peter's nose, who chuckled "Are you the type who happens to talk nerdy stuff while on drugs?"

"I'm always like this," Peter said, laughing a lot for no apparent reason.

"Yes, but you'll see, you'll soon think you're Einsten's best friend," Wade sighed, placing the joint back in Peter's mouth, who pulled without even thinking about it, and when Wade took it out before Peter could release the smoke, Wade kissed him, trapping the smoke in both mouths and causing one part to come out of Peter's nose and the other each time they opened their mouths.

Peter licked the sky of Wade's mouth, and the mercenary breathed hard through his nose, burying his fingers in Peter's hair to keep it at bay, taking over the moment while Peter couldn't resist, letting his lips slide and be captured between Wade's own, who growled and came closer, trapping Peter between his body and a tree next to the campfire.

Wade leaned for better access to the brunet's mouth, who lowered his hands to slide them over Wade's chest and abs, opening his mouth in a moan and allowing access for Wade's tongue to enter the warmth again.

One of the mercenary's hand went down to Peter's waist, gripping it tightly and bringing both hips together, as their mouths produced the only sounds in all the dark forest. Wade took Peter's lower lip between his teeth, his face red and hungry eyes, while Peter looked at him under heavy eyelids, and chest rising and falling in agitation.

"That has been one of the best kisses I have ever given and received," Peter breathed, laughing when Wade did, and again took the joint to pull.

"Woa woa, go slow there," Wade said, taking it once Peter had finished pulling.

"If I do, the effect will wear off very quickly."

Wade snorted, himself taking another pull. "One left," he said, glancing at the last of the blunt. "Do we finish it together?"

Peter nodded, moving closer to Wade's face, who brought their lips together and placed the joint between them. "On the count of three. One."

"Two."

"Go!"

They both pulled and in a second they were coughing and laughing at the same time, Peter falling seated with his back against the tree, still cornered with Wade in front of him, his jeans half open and his belly poking out.

"What are you doing?" Wade whispered, noticing that Peter opened his zipper and began to pull down his pants.

"What do you think?" Peter said, angry when the boxers didn't want to help.

"You're going to hurt yourself" Wade said, gently stroking Peter's head.

"I'll be fine," Peter whispered, kissing Wade's cock from tip to bottom, feeling the texture of his scars adorning certain spaces, and starting to throb as it grew bigger, and suddenly Peter felt his cheeks get wet and his eyes cloud over, and the next second Wade was kneeling in front of him.

"Pete what the heck?" He asked, looking for any injuries "What happened?"

"I don't know," Peter said, taking Wade's dick in his hands as he let out a sob. "I really missed your cock, Wade."

"What?" Wade started laughing louder this time "You're crying for my boner?"

Peter sobbed, nodding and wiping his eyes "Apparently yes."

Wade snorted "But you have it right here in front of you."

"Yeah, but I don't want it to go," Peter said, another sob breaking through, causing Wade to laugh more.

"Well, that kind of depends on you," the mercenary said, wiping Peter's face with his fingers.

"Come here," Wade said, pulling Peter up until he sat on his lap, and began to kiss his face, first his forehead, then his eyes, his nose, his cheeks and lastly his lips. "We are stuck now."

Peter looked at him for a moment and smiled, raising his hand to caress Wade's face. "You should put some flowers on your head, you would look so beautiful."

Then he leaned down and began to kiss Wade's neck, who breathed in ragged breaths. "Remember that you left me halfway, I'm not made of wood."

Peter bit his lip and took Wade's cock in his hands, leaning in as far as his flexibility allowed him to kiss the tip. "Take mine and we'll come together."

"We don't even last 15 minutes lately," Wade gasped, lowering the elastic of Peter's jogger until he discovered his dick leaking precum.

Peter groaned, biting his lip and wiggling his hips desperately as Wade pulled his cock into his fist and began to raise and lower his hand in time with Peter's. Both of them breathing hard and meeting from time to time in a kiss, while the only lights present were those of the campfire fire and the stars.

Peter felt his body burn with pleasure, his legs shaking from all the sensations, as he watched Wade's face grow in despair, his eyes locked on Peter's and his rosy cheeks.

"Oh God," Peter groaned "I think I see stars around you, but I don't know if they are real because they are so close."

"No," Wade shook his head, his voice barely a breath. "I think you're meeting God," he said, and the next instant they both started laughing in mid-orgasm.

~ ° ~

That frenzy and eternal happiness made Peter feel like he was in a bubble, as if the world outside did not exist, only they. Four days together, just the two of them with nothing or nobody to worry about but themselves, a world where even when it rained, locking themselves inside the RV was not so bad, as they drank hot chocolate, ate cookies, talked about stupid things, smoked weed and continued to make love.

But of course that frenzy lasted what it had to last, and throughout the afternoon and night before the fifth day, the day they were to return to their city lives, Wade decided to start acting strange and distant, again not even looking into his eyes when they said a word or two as they gathered things up.

Peter didn't have the strength to demand anything, but inside he burned with rage and knew that at some point he needed to express it. He tried to keep it at bay, _'Maybe it'll change for the better when we get back,'_ he thought, sitting in the passenger seat as Wade closed the compartment door and walked to the front. _'Or maybe everything continues as before and this was a simple mask to cover the despair.'_

Peter jumped when Wade sat next to him and slammed the door, the mercenary noticed and looked at him concerned. "All good?"

Peter shrugged, picking up his blanket to cover his face a little and look out the window. Wade of course didn't say anything else, he just placed his hand on Peter's knee and squeezed a little.

"We'll be fine," he said, starting the engine to reverse everything they had just experienced.

And would they really be okay? Peter kept thinking about that, and the further they got out of the forest to get onto the road, Peter felt more afraid, his skin crawled and he felt like he was sweating cold, so he preferred to close his eyes for a moment and not think about anything.

_"The best thing is to end things here."_

Peter opened his eyes, the sun was already higher, the pines had stopped bulging the road and were now surrounded by plains, thick trees, and distant mountains.

The brunet turned his gaze to Wade, his heart in his hand and his skin pale, waiting for him to say something else, but Wade just kept his gaze straight ahead, every now and then his fingers drumming the handle.

"Did you say something?" Peter asked, his words coming out like a choked breath.

Wade looked at him, implying that he had heard him speak but didn't understand his words "Hm?"

Peter swallowed the lump in his throat and noticed his mouth tremble. "Did you say something?"

Wade frowned and shook his head "You were moving around in your sleep, maybe a strange dream?"

Peter looked straight ahead, and with his shaking hands pulled the blanket off himself. He was having trouble breathing and his vision was blurring. "I don't feel well."

Wade looked at him for a moment, before continuing to stare straight ahead "What do you feel?"

"I need you to stop," Peter whispered, taking his shirt between his fists.

"What?" Wade reached out to feel Peter's forehead, who knew he was in a cold sweat. "Pete are you-?"

"I need you to stop!"

"What's wrong?"

"Now!"

Wade parked in the middle of the road, looking at him with a combination of concern and confusion that Peter didn't understand, as there was so much to worry about and he wasn't sure he could handle it.

With difficulty he managed to open the door, the world was spinning but he needed to return to the forest, and he would not stop until he was there, just the two of them again, without having to worry about the world.

"What is it?" Wade yelled, his voice distant, too far away to care "What's up? What's wrong?"

Peter kept walking, a wave of nausea rising suddenly, and the sun that was shining on him warmed him from the cold sweat.

"Peter that's enough."

"No" the brunet replied, his legs shaking a little.

"No what?"

"I don't want to."

Wade laughed, the tone of his laugh seemed angry. "Why are you so stubborn?"

Peter didn't answer, taking a deep breath so as not to fade, while his stride was continuous. Wade then glared at the back of the brunet's neck, moving closer to try to look at him, maybe make him see reason, make sure Perer was okay, whatever, but as the other continued with his head down, this made Wade lose his patience a bit, taking Peter's hand in his not squeezing too hard as he would never dare, but just enough to stop him.

Peter tried by all means to get loose, pushing on Wade's hand, scratching his arm and pulling his hand hard as he growled, he looked like a wild animal and Wade couldn't take it anymore, so with a jerk he managed to place Peter in front of him, finding himself with a face wet with tears, red eyes and a hurt look.

Wade then gasped silently, his expression immediately softening "What's wrong?"

Peter continued crying, wiping his nose with one hand, and shifted his gaze to the now dirty sleeve of his sweater. "I don't want to go back."

Wade placed his hands on Peter's shoulders to look at him "Why not?"

Peter, on the other hand, didn't look at him and continued sniffling.

Wade then sighed, nodding and pulling his shirt sleeve towards his hand. "Okay Pete," he said, gently cupping Peter's face with one hand to wipe his dirt and tear-stained cheeks. "Why don't you want to go back?"

"I..." Peter leaned towards attention "I don't know"

"There must be a reason."

Peter shrugged, to which Wade took him by the chin to lift Peter's face to prevent him from avoiding his gaze. "We came here so we can be honest with each other, come on, say it."

Peter felt his lip tremble, as his eyes filled with tears again, and then Wade hugged him, giving him the strength to speak.

"I'm scared, Wade." He breathed, rubbing his face against Wade's shirt. "I am scared to return and that something bad will happen again, I'm afraid of returning and that neither Tony nor Steve nor Nat are gonna be there, I wouldn't be abble to bear the pain of being left alone again and that everything will be like a week ago... and more than anything I'm scared to return, and that you don't even look me in the eye when you speak."

Wade buried his face in Peter's shoulder, and was apparently crying too. "I'm so sorry Peter" he said, "I know how much I have hurt you in recent months, you needed my support and all I did was disappear, I know I'm the worst, but I'm scared too, I don't want to get excited and lose you again."

A drop of water fell on Peter's nape, who looked at the sky confused because a few minutes ago the sun wanted to make him burn, and now there were many clouds over his head. Wade sobbed, and Peter stroked him with his hand, still trying to process everything to figure out how to say things.

"We just can't know," Peter said at last, a whisper that was almost lost in the wind, but Wade heard him as he raised his red, tear-wet face. "It's not within our power to predict the future," he said smiling as he made Wade laugh. "But I think we can't let that stop us and ruin our lives, rather we should make the most of them, like these last 4 days."

"They were fantastic," Wade whispered, to which Peter smiled and nodded, wiping his dirty cheeks.

"I'm very scared too," Peter admitted "But I don't want to go back if things are going to continue as before, I'd rather stay here and continue with this fantasy world."

"What about Ellie, May and Happpy?" Wade snorted, and Peter looked down.

"We could bring them," he whispered.

"We could," Wade nodded. "Whenever you want."

"I'm not leaving," Peter said, taking Wade's hand with his fingers but not completely "I'm not eternal, and I know I can't promise something like that, but I'll try, so please have faith in me."

Wade hugged him again, stroking his hair as the sky turned darker and the first drops turned into a more constant rain. "I will, just talk to me next time before it gets to this point, yes?"

Peter nodded and Wade kissed his nose. "We should get back in the car, we're already wet and there's still a long way to go."

Peter nodded again and allowed himself to be guided back to his seat, where with both of them inside, Wade made sure Peter's seat belt was securely fastened before restarting the engine to continue on his way, and when he noticed that Peter was still staring at him, this time smiling, the mercenary blushed, took his hand and kissed it.

"We'll be fine."

"We will."

~ • ~

Peter tried not to count the hours it took for the trip back to the city, stopping at certain times to eat and maybe make love, even to take pictures or sleep. The only feasible thing was that they were back, and there were no trees around them, but buildings, and everything was gray instead of green.

Night was already on them, and the sun could no longer be seen because a few hours ago it had disappeared in the middle of the buildings, different from the forest, where Wade and Peter could watch the sunset until its light was completely lost between trees and mountains.

Once they had parked the RV in front of their apartment building, Peter bit his lip and turned his gaze towards the entrance, from which one of his neighbors was coming out, greeting them with a smile. He had been another who had appeared just like Peter, and was still in the process of acceptance and accommodation. Just like Peter.

Peter smiled at his neighbor, and was about to lose his breath again, when Wade took his hand in his and waited for Peter to turn to look at him and put his other hand on top. "We'll be fine."

Peter nodded, and Wade leaned over to kiss his nose and rest his forehead on Peter's. "We're together in this."

"We are," Peter nodded.

And together they got out of the car to open the door of the building and re-enter their past lives. This time with some changes and more opportunities.

The door of their apartment was unlocked, Aunt May said she would arrive earlier to help with the cleaning and took the opportunity to take Ellie back. What they didn't expect was to find the smell of fresh food, a young cat playing with a toy mouse, and Ellie laughing as he chased her.

As soon as the girl saw them, she screamed excitedly and ran towards them, hugging them around the waist. She was very tall, Peter remembered when her head barely reached their hips.

"They are here, May!" The teen screeched, wiping her tears to pretend to be strong.

Wade looked at Peter feeling guilty, the mercenary knew that during Peter's disappearance, the girl had suffered a lot and Wade had not been able to handle things very well, feigning amnesia to a past life and turning his back on what was left. The situation had been hard for both of them, one was the product of his bitter experience in life, and the other was just an innocent soul who didn't understand things very well. And Peter felt helpless for not being able to be there for them.

Wade sighed, squatting down to remove the strands of hair that hid the girl's face. "Everything cool with May, Belly?"

Ellie wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater and smiled a little, she had learned to disguise her pain, and Peter was afraid of that, he wanted her to express herself, cry and kick if necessary, but he didn't want to see her slowly drown at such a young age. "It was cool, did you two have a good time?"

"Very good, but we would have had a better time with you," Peter interrupted, squatting next to Wade, who nodded without hesitation. "It's okay if you missed us, you know? It's okay if you want to say it, Ellie."

The teenager looked at him with glassy eyes and her lower lip trembling a little, as she shrugged to reduce her emotions, but as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, all that came out was a choked "Yes" before Ellie covered her face to cry harder.

Wade pursed his mouth in pity and held her tightly, stroking her back in the process and letting his own tears flow without prejudice. "I'm so sorry Ellie, I've been a terrible parent for the past few years and I wish I could change everything."

Ellie didn't say anything, she just nodded and hugged them tighter, letting out those emotions that she had stored for so long, and Peter understood that he and Wade had many pending conversations and apologies with the girl, he was grateful that Ellie was always such a strong and special girl, but it was her turn to be vulnerable.

~ ° ~

This time his face in front of the mirror looked a little less tired, his swollen eyes were the product of tears of pain, happiness and necessary relief; and the smile he thought he had forgotten was now a little more marked on his lips.

Peter was trying to be happy again, his pale skin was taking color, his hair was regaining volume and a more vivid brightness, he felt good, every day was different or the same but surrounded by love and laughter. Perhaps nothing was going to be as before, that was logical, 5 lost years were not going to be recovered with anything in the world, but he was beginning to take the course and that was the important thing.

Tony's lenses were inside the box opened to expose them, and again resting on the sink while Peter bit his lip and searched for the right words to say what he was afraid to express; he felt that saying goodbye meant accepting the loss, but he understood that it was a necessary step if he wanted to move forward.

With a sigh, he rested his hands on the sink and looked directly at the lenses, it was the only thing he needed to do to keep growing.

"I think it's impossible to stop missing someone, even less someone like you," Peter said, looking at the lenses with a nostalgic smile on his face, tears forming in his eyes and a lump in his throat. "But I will do everything possible so that all the work you did is not in vain; and in the meantime..."

Peter sighed and closed the box with the glasses inside, listening to Ellie laugh from the living room as Wade recounted how Peter didn't want to enter the frozen water. Peter smiled again, this time in a very sincere way, and stretching his back he nodded.

"In the meantime, Tony, I promise I'll try to be happy."


End file.
